haven't posted in bloody ages, and despite just returning from a really very interesting holiday the very first reason i can find to post is my shiny new watchmen-themed icon :P
anyway, updates-
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( DOWNLOAD FESTIVAL- cut because this is going to be a beast of an entry )- and Whitby <3 sigh- i've been back about 6 hours and i'm already pining. rich and I stayed for one night at La Rosa, a campsite that fully deserves the often misappropriated adjective Bohemian, and a second night in their themed hotel in whitby central, overlooking the coast. the place stunned us into silence (thankfully, as we were screaming at each other in the car after the 5.5 hour journey- don't worry, for us it's normal) and rather than describe it, i'll direct you all to my facebook (as i'm a little facebooked-out, after a few days of none then an hours-long binge, maybe check there about 24 hours in the future from now, *spooky ghost noise*) where you'll see my 500-odd pictures of the sweetshop, the buddhist shrine, the chandeliered shower block, the fortune teller's compost toilet, the circus tent, and our caravan, called La Rosa, themed around burlesque- dita, bettie, chrome, pulp novels and, inexplicably, hypnotism. there's also rich in a bear suit and me in a fez :D
sadly, we didn't get to try out the dressing up box until the morning before we left, as it was raining before we even unpacked and my borrowed wellies, whilst fetching, weren't going to protect rich's hair (glam boys, sigh.) we spent the night photographing every single found object in the place, reading the catalogue of bettie page bondage stories, sitting down to play a horoscope board game, then giving up after reading the instructions, and, oh yeah, starting a fire BY HAVING SEX
!!!!
excuse me while i go completely TMI. we'd tried for about an hour to light the woodburning stove, which we really needed since the multiple tealights and mirrored surfaces still weren't making enough light, and it was mighty cold what with the rain and the silky throws and beaded curtains (i'm all for vintage pretty-ness but sometimes you just need to admit defeat and supply some sleeping bags). it was fun to try (dangerous fun, kids)and cool to watch the damp wood go pop, but we gave up, and quickly found another way to get warm (this trip of course being our anniversary present, that should be expected). when we stopped, there was a roaring fire in the grate- either the caravan rocking had sparked the embers, or we'd pleased some watching pagan gods. i love rich so much- normally the romantic hugging type, he instantly accepted my high five, and we ROFL'd till the early hours- when we found the fire was still lit, by the way!
of course, soon after we woke up, we had to leave :( the journey to whitby itself was equal parts terrifying and awesome, as we tried to get rich's 1.2 litre rover up 33% inclines (i actually had to shift all my body weight towards the front of the car, like it was the freaking italian job) and tried to manoeuvre through roads full of ducks, chickens, sheep, goats and cattle. finally, inside the hotel lobby, we saw this

and boy oh boy it was. a giant Tutankhamen bust was mounted on the wall next to an altered ukulele, the coffee table was straining under the weight of a huge french book on the american circus, the piano had disney's alice in wonderland sheet music supplied (and nothing else) and the man at the desk was the spitting image of eugene hutz, if eugene had a padawan braid and could make and serve glittery orange cake and dark chocolate cherry cupcakes. we borrowed wetlands by charlotte roche from the library (and i'm proud to say i only felt like throwing up twice- rich and i both certainly learned a lot, mostly about what you should never, ever, ever, EVER do to your own body after surgery, or with filthy barbeque tongs) and tipping the velvet for the portable dvd player in the room (the staff ((who all look truly amazing, by the way, an indian girl with a faux-hawk and crafted dia de los muertos wellies, and a 30 year old woman dressed like a pink lady with skull and crossbones accessories hanging on every limb)) make a point of not having televisions or even phones in the hotel, but supply a truly obscure selection of movies, including the film version of one of the books we found in our caravan- i don't remember the title, but the book was by gypsy rose lee, and the strapline was "strangled!...by their own g-strings!!!) TtV, which i'd been waiting to see ever since my darling mother forbade me from watching it on the bbc in about 2003,
( was sadly disappointing- spoilers abound )i realise i haven't described our room at all! when i was given the choice of the whole hotel on the phone way back in april, i couldn't decide between all the themes, so they said we'd be surprised on our arrival. we were given the gypsy caravan room, given that we'd stayed the last night in their caravans, and it was deep red, with a huge four poster bed, and an accordion :D not much else could fit, and i was strangely grossed out by the fact the en suite didn't have a door, but a velvet curtain, and those things don't normally bother me- probably the influence of wetlands. but it was another beautiful night <3 i only wish i hadn't looked at the newly-updated website before we left and seen the huge wooden bath in the otherwise tasteless american-themed 'Saloon' room- after an afternoon risking my life on the way down the 199 steps in the rain, dear god did i wish for that bath!! yes, whitby was a wash-out :( but only in the afternoon, when we did all the things i'd either already done (climbed our way to the ruined abbey, shopped around the goth-ish side of town for a coaster that reads "go green: fuck a vegetarian" :P ) or the indoor stuff (the dracula experience, despite rave reviews from the mail on sunday and ITV, consisted of a couple of badly chipped models and a teenager in a plastic hellraiser mask going Boo). we went for a short trip around the harbour on the incredibly tacky-looking replica of captain cook's piratical ship the bark endeavor, something i'd failed to convince my parents to take me on last summer :P we got to laugh at the loud kid who was shocked by the crew producing an (obviously fake) dead ship's cat, and listen to endlessly looped sea shanties over the radio mic, which were improved by the enthusiastic singing of a couple of ageing tourists. i was sad to miss the dracula tour, which was due to happen at 8 at night, because i was wet and covered in insect bites, and because rich and i were fighting a bit (i was tired and moody, he was tired and intolerant), especially since we missed the ghost walk in york the next day, because it was raining once more and once more, we'd done too much during the day and just wanted to nap and get room service. more on that next.
after breakfast was served in a hamper (cheese scones, fruitcake and cheese (yorkshire style!) boiled egg, yoghurt and honey and sparking pressed apple), we left in the rain (i'm bored of typing that word -.- ) and got stuck in traffic for longer than the hour we thought it would take us to get into the city. we'd booked a night in a corporate hotel in york the night before we left from ipswich and for £100 we at least got some free shortbread, a free shower cap, and freeview on the widescreen (after our curiosity backfired and we almost got the tv stuck on a paid adult channel, we managed to watch jonathan ross, a nice simple thing as rich and i always try to watch it together). we dried off and ran to the york dungeons, getting lost and visiting the disney store on the way, where i persuaded rich against buying me a huge stitch plushie that cost £60, although of course now i want one so i wish i hadn't :P there were no queues when we got there, which was amazing as we've queued in the rain for over an hour before, but the place smelled horrible, as it was only just before lunchtime and they pump it full of dust and mist to make it feel authentic! we didn't buy the photo we posed for at the entrance, of rich in the stocks and me wielding the axe, as i'd hit him in the forehead with it completely by accident and was caught on camera mid-apology, and him mid-scream. neither of us got picked on by any of the actors, and rich loved the camp-but-still-scary-ness of it, when i was worried he would call it lame. he marvelled at the penny-stretching machines they have all over york, and i put in £1 and 1p trying to get the rat design he wanted, since he always buys me capsule hello kitties at the cinema. we also found syringe pens in the gift shop, which we thought you could only get if you had your letter published in bizarre magazine! next there was more frantic wandering of the ancient streets as we realised we only had half an hour till the shops shut and i wanted to find travelling man, a really friendly comic book shop. after deliberating over the gothic lolita bible volume 2 (english edition), the newly published detroit metal city volume one, and tori amos's art book, which is appearing everywhere, i finally borrowed £3 from rich and giggled over to the counter with the complete Alan Moore's Lost Girls
( some Very squicky spoilers follow )after reading lost girls, i tried to order room service, and all they served after ten oclock was sandwiches :( so two nights in a row i missed dinner because of a book! first because i didn't feel like eating after the girl in wetlands ate things no person should ever think about eating, and the next night because i couldn't put lost girls down. now i'm home, i have to think about money again, but 'stitch! the movie' has arrived from lovefilm and i still have desperate romantics to watch. my train tickets are booked for steam-larp in coventry, so that's the next thing to look forward too :) i really, really should update this more often- apologies for spamming up your f-list!